You’re not bad or evil, but you are confused. Saying that you love your wife very much, then having the affair, is like pointing the front wheels of your car in different directions. Nothing good can happen when they are not aligned.
It sounds like there is still a decision to be made. The decision has to do with whether you really want to stay married. It’s not a question of trying to reduce the anxiety about the other woman, but rather – do you want to completely invest in your marriage?
The likely reason the affair took place was because there’s something not satisfying in your primary relationship. If that isn’t attended to it won’t matter what you do with this other woman because the core issue will still be there.
I suggest you put first things first. Decide if you really want to stay married and be in a completely committed relationship. If that doesn’t suit you, then decide how you want to address that. Obviously having some therapy along the way for this kind of difficult decision would be helpful.