I would agree with your assessment of needing to consult a mental health professional. It would be highly beneficial for you to be evaluated, so as to determine what is wrong. It’s especially concerning that your symptoms are steadily worsening. They are now elevated to the point where you have attempted suicide and are engaging in violence toward family members. These are serious concerns that require professional intervention.
You are hesitant to ask for help because you’re worried about the awkwardness and stress that your mother may feel. You being in treatment may decrease her stress levels because she would know that you are being helped. Attempting suicide and attacking family members is highly stressful to everyone in the family. Thus, seeking treatment might significantly decrease your mother’s stress levels because she would know that the problem is finally being addressed.
You should immediately talk to your mother about seeking professional treatment. Do not worry about her stress levels and recognize that the longer your symptoms remain out of control, the higher the stress levels will be for everyone in the family. I hope that you will make the wise choice and seek help immediately. If you cannot control your behavior and you’re at risk of hurting yourself or others, then go to the emergency room. The doctors can keep you safe. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle