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Excessive Drinking Causing Trouble

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Recently I have been suffering a lot of guilt, and paranoia. every now and then I will go out for a friends birthday, or hens… and I will drink and black out. I have a horrible fear that I have done something like cheat on my husband. I know I would NEVER do it when sober, and I KNOW I haven’t ever had sex , but I will recall boys around me in the night and then I am terrified I may have kissed someone or cheated. I have done this in the past when my partner was there and saw it and I have no memory. I feel sick and have convinced myself that I’m a cheater. I cannot get over it it’s ruining me. I keep thinking of past mistakes and punishing myself for them. Now I am questioning a lot of things.

Excessive Drinking Causing Trouble

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If you’re blacking out from drinking and are concerned that during those blackouts you have engaged in inappropriate behavior, and are feeling shame and guilt as a result — the first thing you have to get undercontrol is the drinking.

I’m not ignoring what you’re saying about the guilt, but it makes no sense working on that if you’re going to continue to drink, black out, and do inappropriate things. You have to start at the source. And I would highly recommend beginning any treatment that addresses drinking as a primary issue. Here’s a link to AA information in your country. As the revered Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu informed us: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Excessive Drinking Causing Trouble

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Excessive Drinking Causing Trouble. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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