Recently I have been suffering a lot of guilt, and paranoia. every now and then I will go out for a friends birthday, or hens… and I will drink and black out. I have a horrible fear that I have done something like cheat on my husband. I know I would NEVER do it when sober, and I KNOW I haven’t ever had sex , but I will recall boys around me in the night and then I am terrified I may have kissed someone or cheated. I have done this in the past when my partner was there and saw it and I have no memory. I feel sick and have convinced myself that I’m a cheater. I cannot get over it it’s ruining me. I keep thinking of past mistakes and punishing myself for them. Now I am questioning a lot of things.Excessive Drinking Causing Trouble
Excessive Drinking Causing Trouble
If you’re blacking out from drinking and are concerned that during those blackouts you have engaged in inappropriate behavior, and are feeling shame and guilt as a result — the first thing you have to get undercontrol is the drinking.
I’m not ignoring what you’re saying about the guilt, but it makes no sense working on that if you’re going to continue to drink, black out, and do inappropriate things. You have to start at the source. And I would highly recommend beginning any treatment that addresses drinking as a primary issue. Here’s a link to AA information in your country. As the revered Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu informed us: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.