I always felt like I was supposed to die. A long time ago. But somehow fate got mixed up and I kept on living. Now there is no plan for me and I don’t fit in the grand scheme of things. I’ve been bullied horribly a long time ago. It started in the first grade. I was very low then. I remember praying to God that I would die. I took pride in never snapping and killing myself. It was all I had. I feel like that was the plan though. Like I was destined to kill myself. Fate didn’t expect me to live. Now I feel worthless in life. I’m scarred from my past and I can’t muster up the courage to talk to a girl I want to go out with. I feel like some extra piece of a puzzle that is already completed. I’m lost. Everywhere I have turned has led to failure.
I’m sorry about your unhappiness. It seems as though you might have depression. Depression can erroneously make you feel as though life is not worth living. It clouds judgment. It can make you believe in things that are not true and thus come to conclusions that are not true. I think this may have happened in your case. Life has been difficult for you which has led you to incorrectly conclude that you are destined to live a worthless, unhappy life. That’s simply not the case. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Counseling is what is needed in this situation. I have worked with many people who felt the same way as you do and with counseling their lives improved significantly. I would highly recommend it for you.
Inform your parents about how you’ve been feeling. Ask them to assist you in finding the right therapist. There’s no reason for you to continue to suffer and to believe in things that are not true when help is available. The type of problems that you are facing are the type of problems that therapists deal with on a regular basis. It’s imperative that you finally receive the right help to overcome these life difficulties. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
I Feel Like I’m a Waste of a Human Being
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
APA Reference Randle, K. (2018). I Feel Like I’m a Waste of a Human Being. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/01/26/i-feel-like-im-a-waste-of-a-human-being/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.