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Should I Tell My Son about My Abuse?

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I was sexually abused from ages 6-11 and grew up with quite a bit of emotional and physical issues. I had my son at 16 He is 15 now and through the years I have dealt with my inner demons and issues trying to keep them from him. I feel I should tell him why I am the way I am. Part of me feels it’s not right to tell your child about that stuff. but I also feel he should know. Should I tell him? If so what age is appropriate?

Should I Tell My Son about My Abuse?

Answered by on -


Thank you for your question. Are you working with a therapist? I question this because I don’t know the value of telling your son if you can’t also tell him all the things you’ve done to cope. I would highly recommend you begin therapy if you haven’t, and if you have, I would talk to your therapist about the merit and concerns behind telling your son. The risk is that you would be breaching a boundary with him, which I am certain isn’t what you would want to do.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Should I Tell My Son about My Abuse?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Should I Tell My Son about My Abuse?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 19, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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