If I could speak to you in person, I would want to know if anything out of the ordinary has happened lately. Was there a recent change in your life? An ill family member? Did one of your parents lose their job? I would be asking those and many other questions to determine what may have triggered your mood change.
You described your crying as being “random” but in all likelihood, there is a reason for it. It’s also important to assess your physical health when attempting to determine what triggered your sadness. For instance, having the flu can lead to moodiness. When we are not feeling well physically, we don’t feel well psychologically.
What about your sleeping patterns? Are you sleeping well? Did you sleep well the night before the crying spell? Loss of sleep often contributes to irritability and moodiness.
I would recommend keeping track of how you’re feeling. You can do this by keeping a journal. Journaling can lead to insights about your moods and behavior.
I also think that you should report this incident to your parents. They need to be aware of your unwelcome desire to “do bad things.” Hopefully it will prompt them to consult a mental health professional. If you feel that you might harm yourself or someone else, then it’s imperative to receive emergency help. Call 911 or go to the emergency room.
By the time you read my response you might be feeling better but if not, do not hesitate to ask for help. I think you’ll be glad that you did. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle