Thank you for writing. I can tell you are in genuine distress. But the problem isn’t the guy or your mom. The problem is that you are too isolated. Since you don’t have a group of supportive, caring friends, your disappointment that your mother and the boy aren’t available to you is much bigger than it should be. As you said, your mom is tired because she is doing her best to support you. The boy was honest with you and still wants to be your friend. These are things to be grateful for.
Making friends isn’t as hard as you think. But you do need to stop waiting for them to just show up and start doing something to find them. You need to go where friends can be found. That means joining something where people have the same interests you have. It could be a video club, a theater group, a sport or a charity. It doesn’t matter what, as long as you really care about it and other people your age care about it too. The best way to get to know people is by doing something together. It takes the pressure off interacting because the focus is on getting something done, not on each other.
One more thing. There are plenty of teens who stay away from alcohol, smoking and drugs. For example: According to the 2011 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, only a little more than half (51.8 percent) of Americans aged 12 or older reported being current drinkers of alcohol. You don’t need to do drugs or have sex to “do something.” But you do need to expand your world, try new activities and meet new people.
Look around in your school and your community. Then take a deep breath and try out a few things. You may not find the perfect thing on the first try, or even the second or third. But if you keep exploring, you will eventually find a place that “fits.”
I wish you well.