You should seek professional help immediately. All of your issues are treatable with therapy and medication. Anger, panic and trust issues are common reasons for entering therapy. Medication can “take the edge off” while developing healthy coping skills in therapy. Many people have found that a combination of medication and therapy have significantly improved their overall quality of life.
You have admitted to physically abusing your new partner. This is often an attempt to gain control in the relationship, to gain the safer “upper hand.” It is not a conscious, well-thought-out behavior. It is an unconscious, learned behavior.
It was unacceptable for your ex to abuse you and it’s unacceptable for you to engage in that same behavior with your new partner. As you know from firsthand experience, abuse is detrimental physically and psychologically to a person’s well-being. It’s simply wrong.
If you continue to abuse your partner, and refuse to seek help, then your partner will likely end the relationship. If you’re serious about changing your behavior, then you should seek professional help. It’s the most responsible course of action. It will show that you’re serious about change. I would strongly encourage you to deal with this issue. It is a way to finally end the abuse of your ex-husband. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle