Thank you for writing. You are right to be concerned. This is not usual or normal behavior for a 5-year-old. I’m stunned that your concerns are falling on deaf ears. This little girl is sending out a message loud and clear that something is terribly wrong.
As you know, when kids don’t have words for what troubles them, they act out their feelings. She sounds like a very hurt and discouraged child who doesn’t believe that she will be noticed unless she resorts to extremes. This is beyond star charts. She needs an evaluation by a qualified child counselor.
I understand completely why her parents don’t want to face the problem. No parent wants to think something is wrong with their child. But failure to act now will only mean that things will get worse. Early intervention matters.
You are not paid to get hurt. The other children in your room deserve to be safe. This little girl deserves to be heard and to be helped. I hope you will continue to insist that she gets the professional attention she needs.
I wish you well.