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Loss of Interest in Women after Sleeping with Them

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At first I thought it may have just been a one-time thing, but as time passed and more girls came along, I realized that it happened with all of them. I feel madly in love with girls and form connections with them, but after I have sex with them I lose almost all feelings for them.

This has happened 4 times and I do not want to keep occurring, why is this happening and how can I stop it?

Loss of Interest in Women after Sleeping with Them

Answered by on -


Thank you for your honesty and asking these important questions. You may want to look at three things. The first is your age. As a teenager in your first year of college almost all the sexual relationships you will have are little more than experiments. I’m not trying to de-romanticize relationships — but the first year of college is often experimentation with many new freedoms, including various sexual partners.

I would take the time to try to understand about whom you were drawn to. Was there a common trait or characteristic about the women that you were interested in? Was there an average length of time you went out with them? Was there a similar feeling you felt? Keep in mind everybody is experimenting with relationships and you may want to question your intention. Was your goal simply to go to bed with them? Did you want to be seen with somebody that looked hot? The answers to these questions may help you alter your intentions.

All of these pieces of information will help you understand not only whom you were drawn to, but perhaps understand why. Whatever the answers to these questions are I would challenge you to change one of them. As an example, you said that you fell madly in love with each one of them. Maybe falling in love so quickly and intensely is a warning sign rather than sign of longevity. Perhaps choose somebody that brings about a different feeling.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Loss of Interest in Women after Sleeping with Them

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Loss of Interest in Women after Sleeping with Them. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 24, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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