You’re asking the wrong question if you’re asking why can’t he just change? The real question is why are you still there? You say you love him but these systemic issues are sounding like anything but love. If you’re not being treated well and are fighting all the time, I would challenge your definition of love. He sounds like more of a habit you have than a partner you can love.
I think it is time to reevaluate the quality of your relationship and make your decision from there.