I am very glad you wrote. You are right to be worried about yourself. The most loving thing you can do for your children is to take care of what is wrong so you can be the mother they deserve.
You have had a series of difficult challenges. You left a job where you felt good about yourself. Your husband hasn’t been as kind to you. You have issues with your mother-in-law. You don’t like your father but now you have to live with him. It sounds like you have become very much alone with the children.
It is also possible that part of the problem is postpartum depression. For many women, the hormonal shifts following the birth of a child cause changes in mood and loss of energy.
There are a number of things you can do to feel better: First, consult with your doctor about whether you are having postpartum depression. If so, your doctor will recommend some treatment.
Second, you didn’t mention if you know other young mothers. If not, I strongly suggest that you look for a way to make friends with other women who have children the same ages as your own. There is nothing quite so comforting as talking to another mom about the good and not so good things about parenting.
Finally, I hope you can talk honestly with your husband about both your own feelings and why he has been less loving about your second child. Is it possible that the stress of living with your parents is making it hard for him as well as for you? Does he feel like he isn’t the man he should be because he can’t support his family? Is parenting two children overwhelming for him? Whatever it is, the two of you need to be working on your problems together. Couples who do (and who do it in a loving way) become stronger as a couple.
I wish you well.