Your husband is more interested in being a good son than in being a good husband. Marriage usually means leaving our childhood family and starting a family of our own. That means shifting our loyalty and priorities to our marriage. Yes, it’s important to honor our parents and to help out when we can. But marriage is about making a new beginning. That means investing time and money and energy and love in the couple. In healthy families, the parents give their blessing and support for this change.
I fully understand wanting to help parents who are financially in need if a couple can. I don’t understand a husband who buys expensive jewelry for his parents but doesn’t take responsibility for at least half the bills at home. I sympathize with your disappointment and pain that your husband was more interested in buying jewelry for his mother than in paying the hospital bill. You were probably grieving the loss of a child. You needed the love and support of your husband.
From all you said, I don’t think your husband wants to change. He himself told you that you need to accept the current situation or leave. My suggestion is that you leave. You are already taking care of both of you so you do have the money to take care of yourself. I don’t see anything to keep you in this relationship except the fact that you care more about him than he cares about you.
You deserve better. As difficult as it may be, send this guy back to his mother. Make yourself available for someone who loves you and cherishes you and sees you as important in his life.
I wish you well.