It’s clear that you’re suffering. It’s vitally important that you speak to a mental health professional as soon as possible. You spoke to a counselor six months ago about depression. It’s time to revisit that counselor and report your symptoms. You’re not thinking clearly and professional mental health treatment is what is needed at this time.
If revisiting the counselor is not an option, then speak to your parents or to go to the hospital. When people are not thinking clearly, they may become desperate and do things that they would not normally do. It’s important to seek help in the event that you are unable to control your behavior. Your parents or mental health professionals can keep you safe but only if you are honest with them about how you’re feeling.
Sometimes, when people are suffering and perceive that no one is helping them, it upsets them and makes them angry. They may want to seek revenge or punish the people who they think are ignoring them. The desire to want to kill others is unusual and a sign that someone is suffering tremendously.
It’s important that you seek help immediately. Go to your parents, school administrators, or the hospital and report how you have been feeling. They can assist you in receiving the appropriate psychological help. Counseling and medication could significantly decrease your symptoms. Please seek help immediately. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle