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Husband Losing Arousal During Sex

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My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. Last Sept. I was admitted into the ICU for Serotonin Syndrome. I don’t remember much of it except for my husband telling me that I almost died, I suffered osteocrenosis of my left knee, femoral neuropathy in my left leg and that he was the one that found me unresponsive and feels somewhat responsible. Needless to say I was very dependent on him. I was also drinking heavily. My issue is now that I am almost completely self-sufficient, have quit drinking and have basically checked back into life we had been arguing more (until just lately) and I have had a feeling that he had been unfaithful. When we have sex now he either does not look at me or seems to somewhat lose his erection even when I am giving him oral sex, which he used to love. Is it possible he doesn’t love me anymore?

Husband Losing Arousal During Sex

Answered by on -


it would be presumptuous of me to render an opinion as to whether he loves you. But what does seem clear is that you have made a conscious and concerted effort to invest in your own recovery. This needs to be the central focus in your life right now. I would do two things: First, be certain that your own individual therapeutic journey is in place with many supports. Second, I would invite your partner to go to couples therapy. Very often after a traumatic issue the couple needs time to be oriented. Couples therapy should help.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Husband Losing Arousal During Sex

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Husband Losing Arousal During Sex. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 23, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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