I’m sorry you’ve been through a hard time and that you miss your cousin. But your reaction is troubling. You talk as if this kid is older or the same age as you, not substantially younger. With an eight year age difference, it’s unrealistic and probably inappropriate for you to be longing for contact like this. What did you mean, “take you to places”? That’s a reversal of roles. If anyone is doing the “taking to places,” it would normally be an older relative indulging a youngster. It would make sense to me if you missed contact with his whole family but that’s not what I’m sensing in your letter.
I have a guess that making friends is hard for you. Rather than finding people your own age and stage to hang with, you are seeking companionship and good times with a child. If that’s the case, you need to be working on finding people at your college to spend time with. If you are shy, a great way to begin to get to know people is by joining in some kind of charity or project or club. When the focus in on the project more than on each other. It allows a slow and non-threatening way to begin to relate.
Even if your families reconcile, I hope you will take some distance from your cousin until you can establish a more appropriate role with him. You should think of him as a cute kid, not as a peer.
I wish you well.