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Emotionally Abused Single Mom

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A little over Four years ago, when I began dating my 2.5yr old son’s father; my son’s fathers older sister took in this really great guy, kind of like a son to her and we became really close friends. My son’s father was both extremely emotionally and physically abusive and this guy was an awesome emotional support. I NEVER once cheated on my sons father with him but the more abusive my sons Dad became, the closer we became. Anyways, after my son was born in 2011, and I received sole custody, this guy was the only one from his father’s side of the family that kept in touch with me. Occasionally, we went out for a cup of coffee, to the mall OR for a bite to eat and always with my son. Then 22 weeks ago, we had sex for the one and only time together and I got pregnant. When I first found out, we were both beyond excited that we were having a Baby together; now he has done a 360 and treats me badly, often ignoring me and only contacting me to ask when I’m due and if the pregnancy is going smoothly. And on top of it, he has been smoking weed daily and has no job. He has always been great with my son, so I don’t doubt he would be a god Dad but I don’t want a bad influence around our Baby or my son…what should I do???

Emotionally Abused Single Mom

Answered by on -

A.

I am sorry that the circumstances you find yourself in are so difficult.

I would put the functional and practical elements first and foremost and concern yourself later with the emotional elements of the relationship. In other words, I’m inviting you to be certain the baby’s father understands his financial obligations for his unborn child. While you haven’t said how he is coping with his newfound financial responsibility, my concern is he understands this essential obligation. Beyond this I would contact a lawyer if he has not to hope you understand your rights in this situation.

Whether he will be a good dad is yet to be seen. But whether he is prepared to meet his financial obligation is important now.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Emotionally Abused Single Mom

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Emotionally Abused Single Mom. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 23, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/11/04/emotionally-abused-single-mom/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.