I;m 19 and I’ve been in a relationship with my fiancé for 1yr 1/2. I love him because he’s very open with me which makes it easier for me to be comfortable but lately I been feeling like he’s been holding back from me. I can tell he has a lot on his mind & i feel like he’s struggling to cope with his past and build a future . We both are dealing with trust issues.. I’m pregnant and i recently found out he might have another woman pregnant. I tried to move on but i still love him & i’m willing to stay with him because i know he has personal problems. But am I wasting my time? We really need help.

A: You’re right. You both need help. What is he thinking? He isn’t 20 and he may have two babies on the way? You bet he has a lot on his mind. Is he talking about how he is going to support his children? Whatever his personal problems may be, he is responsible for his kids. He needs to man up and decide how he’s going to handle the difficult situation he helped create.

As for you: Are you willing to make a civil relationship with the other woman? You are going to be related through your children who will be half siblings. And what are your plans for maybe raising a child on your own? Do you have a job? Have you figured out where you will live and how you will manage? I really hope you have parents and friends who are willing to stand by you.

It’s no surprise to me that you have trust issues. But even more important are the many practical issues that need to be taken care of as you prepare for the arrival of your baby. Please consider getting into a program for teen moms or seeing a therapist. You need help finding the resources that will help you create a life for you and your child. You and your boyfriend also need some help figuring out if it is possible for you to make a family.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie