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Husband Searching Woman He Had Affair With

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My husband and I have been married since we were teens. A couple of years ago he became involved with a girl i considered a good friend of mine. She was basically telling me i should leave him and telling him the same thing. Everything came out 6 months later ..devastated we got threw it. 2 years later i see that he searched her and was going through her pictures. After questioning, he admitted that he looked but told a bizarre lie as too why..i can’t describe how upset i am. Why?? It turned into an argument because he knew that he lied and didn’t know what to the verbal abuse followed..if it was nothing..i just can’t see why he’s searching her. I’m starting to feel like our marriage should have never been but we now have 4 children. I just can’t imagine how he would feel had the tables been turned. Should i just end this or should we try counseling? I have had numerous issues with females never physical but always issues. I think of him as my best partner..but I’m starting to believe it’s just me that feels this way.please help.

Husband Searching Woman He Had Affair With

Answered by on -


I do believe couples counseling would be a very good idea.

Although this might seem like a far-fetched notion, the issues that we have in a relationship tend to follow us into the next if we don’t figure out what is causing them.

You have four children, a lot of time together, and the bottom line is that every couple goes through difficult times. I think couples counseling would be a good idea to find out the reasons all this is happening for two reasons: first, to see if there’s enough of a spark left to save your marriage; and second, if the marriage can’t be saved, to find out what the causes are so that you can prevent this from happening in your next relationship.

The find help tab at the top of the page will help you find a couples counselor in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Husband Searching Woman He Had Affair With

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Husband Searching Woman He Had Affair With. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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