As one of my teachers used to say, “When things are easy, they are easy, It’s when things get hard that you find out what someone is made of.” As long as your boyfriend had a job and felt like he was a contributing partner, the two of you made a fine team. My guess is that when he lost his job, he got scared that he couldn’t manage the responsibilities of fatherhood. Instead of talking to you about it and working to solve the problem with you, he vanished. You stopped being a team, working on the same side to solve the problem. Instead, you started being on opposing sides, fighting with each other.
I don’t know if you two can put this back together. He certainly made a big statement by leaving town. Perhaps he’ll use the time away to think things through and will come back ready to work on your relationship. Maybe not. Meanwhile, you need to figure out how you are going to manage as a single mom just in case. Either way, he is the father of your child and you’ll need to work out finances and care of the child you both decided to bring into the world.
For that to work, I think you two should get into couples therapy. You couldn’t make a commitment to each other. How are you both going to make a commitment to this child? A therapist will give you support and practical advice while you figure it out.
In spite of all the emotional pain and anxiety this is giving you, I hope you will find moments of joy in these last months of your pregnancy. It’s a very special time. Identify a close friend or family member to be your labor coach and get to birthing classes. If your boyfriend doesn’t come through, you will then have someone to lean on during labor and delivery and to share the joy of the birth of your baby.
I wish you a safe and joyful birth.