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Daughter’s Husband is a Sex Addict

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My daughter is a newlywed. Her husband is a recently confessed sex addict. He has his white coin from SAA – I’ve seen it. But….his behavior doesn’t smack of someone trying to recover.

He disappears for “meetings” well before the scheduled time and doesn’t come home until late into the night. He has a new best friend – woman – who has been through AA, who he claims is helping him learn to be a better person. He associates his new home and wife with all of his sex problems and won’t spend any time with her at all. Does the twelve step program really allow the addict to hide from his partner all in the name of “working on me”? Seems like something fishy is really going on here.

We’ve counseled her to get to a therapist. Just wanting to see if this truly sounds like someone who is trying to recover, or someone who is using recovery as an excuse to start an affair.

Daughter’s Husband is a Sex Addict

Answered by on -

A.

I am sorry that you and your family are having this difficulty. Your daughter needs a huge amount of support now as she begins to cope with her husband’s addiction. To be blunt, the 12-step program is typically an excellent component but it is doubtful that it alone will help your son-in-law and daughter move through this.

Your daughter may want to educate herself about sex addiction and here is a place to start. Additionally, I would highly recommend a specialized therapist in addictions, particularly one who has worked with sex addiction.

But the bottom line is this: It is your daughter’s life and your son-in-law’s issue now. You may offer your support and suggestions but at the end of the day this will be theirs to cope with.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Daughter’s Husband is a Sex Addict

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Daughter’s Husband is a Sex Addict. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/10/13/daughters-husband-is-a-sex-addict/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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