I know I’m young, and I would like to get it on the table right now that hormones are not why I am like this. I’m sorry, but I’ve heard that too many times from too many people and that’s ninety percent of why I’m going here for help.
I get varying moods of sadness or just general numbness, like I’m watching a movie instead of living my life. Sometimes everything feels like it’s too much and I’m drowning in it. I have panic attacks when it gets to be too much. I contemplate suicide, not that I would really ever go that far. I talk to my best friend about it often, but I hate worrying her because she has her own problems. I have serious issues falling asleep at night and getting up in the morning. I don’t cut, but I’ve thought about it. (The main reason I don’t is because I knew someone that did and it really only made her worse) I don’t want to talk to anyone I don’t trust, and I can’t do this with my parents just to hear that it’s a puberty thing and I’m fine. Most of my friends are clueless.
I rarely feel happy anymore. I’m here because its moderately anonymous and I need to say it.
I guess my question is simple:
Does it sound like I’m depressed to you?
Thanks for having the courage to send your letter in. Yes I would say that it was certainly elements of depression by your description, but more important than labeling the symptoms is the fact that there is an ongoing stress about your well-being. This alone is important. Crying, suicidal ideation, and wanting to hurt yourself are all indications that you’re not feeling as much joy in your life as you would like.
Because of this I would highly recommend you begin by talking with your school counselor and parents about the need to talk to someone, a therapist, on a regular basis. School counselors are typically very well versed in helping you to address these feelings. If your parents haven’t been helpful the school counselor is the way to go.