I am 24 years old. There always seems to be something to worry about. Before I had my child I dealt with a lot of anxiety all my life. I am now dealing with being a homemaker. I quit my job that I have had since high school to be at home with the children ( I have no experience with children prior and have had to jump in head first). I never resented my stepdaughters or my husband (recently married) before I became pregnant. After I got pregnant I was overloaded with fears and anxieties over everything. Now that the baby is here (she is 8 months old now) I had hoped that some of it would lessen but it hasn’t. I feel anger at my husband (because he does not believe I should be acting this way (I agree with him)I am always raising my voice with my stepdaughters because of frustration that they cannot understand, they cannot listen to direction, that I have to be their mother but receive none of the appreciation and unconditional love that their biological mother receives after she has abandoned them for a year and now wants them in her life again, for not being able to work anymore because we couldn’t afford child care for them, that I have to deal with one of them being possible ADD. None of this is their fault or mine. I feel frustration at my own toddler as well. I don’t want to hurt any of them at all. Before I was pregnant we played, talked, and lived together happily except for some of life’s little bumps we were happy. I dealt with the occasional depression growing up (my own as well as my fathers Manic depressive episodes) but I have never felt so much anger, frustration, and lethargy in my life. Is this postpartum depression or is it manic depressive behavior? If so can you recommend a place or support hotline or something? I feel desperate for help but cannot get it from my spouse or by the usual expensive route ( I have no insurance). I feel like I have no where to turn.Postpartum Depression
I am very glad you are asking for help with this. You are doing the right thing to ensure your well-being and your family. I have included this link to a well-respected facility in your state that can either provide services or make a more localized referral for counseling at reduced or no fees nearby. You may also want to look at the find help tab at the top of this page for therapists near you who could tell you about the local women’s center or other places for low-cost or free counseling.
Again, it is important that you continue to follow up on your desire to make things better.