I am 21 and I’m trying to get medication for Anxiety to calm me down or mellow me out. My father was shot & killed when I was 10 & I keep having tendencies to commit murder & disposing of the body. I feel like counseling or therapist won’t help is there any medication to make me not feel like this or is there a reason as to why i feel like this so i can take medication for it? such as stress/depression/anger… I also do have ADHD and I don’t take meds…
A: I’m so very, very sorry that you lost your father at such a young age. I’m glad you wrote. It must be very confusing and frightening to find yourself thinking like a murderer.
It may be that what you are experiencing is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder. One possible symptom is intrusive re-experiencing of a traumatic event. Your mind may be trying to make sense of what happened to your father by identifying with the murderer.
Medication alone isn’t going to help. You need to work with a therapist to deal with the unresolved grief and horror of losing your father in such a violent way when you were young. Medicine may calm you down some so you can do your therapy but you will still need the “talking cure” as well.
The good news is that people can and do recover from PTSD. I very much hope you will research PTSD and then find a therapist to help you. You deserve to be free of these thoughts and to get on with your life.
I wish you well.
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Murderous Thoughts. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 25, 2017, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/09/28/murderous-thoughts-5/