I get angry at my mom all the time. It can be absolutely anything she says or does, like telling me how the weather is or clearing her throat. I get so angry that I actually start shaking and crying and I don’t know why. Everything else about my life is very average and I don’t act like this towards anyone else I know. I can hear her voice from anywhere in my house and it bothers me so much. Most of the time, I just want to be alone so I can read a book or watch TV, but all I hear is her voice no matter where I am in the house or how loud or quiet she is. I don’t want to be so angry at her all the time, but I have no idea where this comes from or how to control it.
At 20 years of age your reaction may be part of your need for independence. From your background it seems that you are entering the last year of college. Independence from our families is never easy and often as a way to start the separation process feelings of discomfort, anger, and frustration may pave the way for a departure.
Of course it is impossible for me to know if these dynamics are happening in your life. But in any case I think it would be worth it for you and your mom to talk about your future plans and living arrangements. I think it will be valuable and helpful to talk about a time, and plans, for when you leave the nest.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Angry Only at Mom. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 23, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/09/09/angry-only-at-mom/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.