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What Does it Mean When You Hate Yourself?

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I’ve always have had a feeling of hate towards myself. I think it comes from my childhood. My parents weren’t mean they just were not very comforting or showed a lot of emotion. When at age 8 I started acting out in class the family doctor said I had ADD/ADHD. My parents didn’t think so; they thought I was just being bad so they punished me with grounding and spanking me. I felt and I still do, feel like I am just a bad person. I hate myself. Is it related to Depression? Or am I just stupid. Thanks.

What Does it Mean When You Hate Yourself?

Answered by on -


You are not stupid. Poor management by your parents as a child, ignorance about ADD /ADHD, and punishment when you should have had loving attention are clearly at the root of your feelings.

But just as maltreatment can create emotional turmoil inside you, supportive treatment now can help undo these negative feelings.

Group therapy may be one way this process can change. At the core of how group therapy works is something known as a ‘corrective recapitulation of the primary family.’ What this means is that the struggles, difficulties, and poor treatment we may have received In a family of origin get “corrected” by the group therapy process. People get to support each other and help heal these wounds in real time.

However, it may be difficult for you to jump into a group right away. If you haven’t had some individual therapy I would strongly recommend beginning there.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

What Does it Mean When You Hate Yourself?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). What Does it Mean When You Hate Yourself?. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.