Home » Ask the Therapist » Am I Just Jealous?

Am I Just Jealous?

Asked by on with 1 answer:

My girl likes to model. I knew this going in. I’ve tried to be ok with the nudes…went along this time. Trouble is it turns my stomach. We have had problems with her honesty but not cheating. Problems with her jealousy but its cool to strip to panties for a photo shoot…. are I just jealous? Shouldn’t some things be curbed when in a relationship? Call me old fashioned but my girl taking off her clothes to pose for artsy pics makes me ill…tell me to grow up.

Am I Just Jealous?

Answered by on -


The key phrase in your question is that “you knew this going in.” Often when we enter into a relationship we think that we’re going to change the person, but this almost always backfires. I think I would let her know how you feel — but if this is her livelihood and it is a career path for her — then this comes along with the territory.

On the flipside of the coin if it is intolerable — be clear about it being too difficult for you to handle that kind of attention toward her. See if this discussion can lead to a balance. If it doesn’t work talking privately with her, you may want to arrange for a couples session to discuss the issue.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Am I Just Jealous?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Am I Just Jealous?. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.