It’s becoming increasingly difficult for you to deal with these issues because they remain unresolved. Typically, problems such as these don’t simply go away and you should not expect them to. Therapy could assist you.
As a child, your parents could have sought professional help for you after having learned what your brother had done. They failed to help you and unfortunately you are paying the psychological price.
Intimacy and trust issues related to sexual abuse are very common problems in counseling settings. As a child, you had very little power but as an adult you have the power to choose to seek help. I would recommend seeing a therapist who specializes in trauma or sexual relations issues (sex therapist).
The fact that you have chosen to write this letter may indicate that you are ready and open to seeking professional help. It also helps that you have a supportive boyfriend. You can gain a great deal of support in therapy. I hope you will consider it. You will be glad that you did. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog