I would like to feed back to you what I am hearing. First you tell her your feelings of being betrayed and explained that these feelings are not about the other woman but about your cousin. She gets angry. You make a comment that you want to change so you don’t hurt her, usually a good thing for couples, and again she gets angry even when you defend the bashing post. You get depressed and don’t tell her – why would you? When you were vulnerable and told her you felt betrayed by your cousin she got angry. Why would you be vulnerable again? She is angry when you are vulnerable, angry when you defend her, angry when you keep your feelings to yourself. Now she is numb. Trying to please her seems to be a losing battle. I would recommend some short-term individual therapy to help you think through the value in this relationship and how you might want to deal with it going forward.