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Boyfriend Lacks Emotions

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My boyfriend of 4 years told me that he has been feeling empty. He still loves me and I have nothing to do with his feeling empty. He is not the emotional type at all and other than the first time he told me he love me I have never seen him cry. He has been very upset and distant and crying for 2 days. I love him so much and he loves me but I do not know how to help him. He is debating on going to stay with a friend for a few days but we are both worried that that path wont lead back to me. I want to suggest therapy for him but I’m not sure if he will go for it but I don’t want to give up on us without a fight….what do I do?

Boyfriend Lacks Emotions

Answered by on -


I think it is a good thing that your boyfriend is talking to you about the struggle he is having with his feelings. Communication between couples during such a difficult time is very important. My suggestion would be to invite him to go together with you to a couples therapist. This way he can feel support from you. And the two of you can bring this issue in front of a third party who can then explain whether individual or couples therapy would be most helpful. In either case your boyfriend would have a chance to express his feelings to a professional with your support.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Boyfriend Lacks Emotions

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Boyfriend Lacks Emotions. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 23, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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