You have a right to be angry at your boyfriend for not having contacted you but clearly you have overreacted. You became overly emotional and verbally abused him. Eventually, he’s likely going to grow tired of your behavior and end the relationship.
In this situation, your expectations were not unreasonable but your reaction was.
When your boyfriend did not call you for three days, you had a right to be angry. Technologically, it was difficult for him to make contact with you but it was still possible. He waited too long. However, you should not have reacted in such an extreme manner. You should have expressed your concern for his well-being and strategized about the best times for him to make future contact.
Your extreme anger is either justified or not justified. If it is justified, then the obvious question is “why would you want to be with someone who is so terribly bad?” After all, he must treat you very badly indeed to deserve that level of your anger. The conclusion: you should break up with this very abusive man.
If the anger you display for him is unjustified, then it is you who is abusive and has the psychological problem. Undeserved anger is always abuse. You must determine which of the two situations exists; justified or unjustified anger.
It’s encouraging that you recognize that a problem exists and have a desire to fix it. You can teach yourself anger management techniques by reading self-help books. You should consider attending an anger management workshop or a therapy group. Individual psychotherapy is also an effective strategy for learning to deal with your anger. If you’re willing to seek help and are open to changing your ways, then you can expect a positive outcome. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog