You are a victim. Your parents are not doing their job. Your mother drinks and your father is helpless to stop her. Through no fault of your own you have effectively become the surrogate parent. I am sorry that you are involved in this unfair set of circumstances.
Your desire to escape your situation is understandable but neither running away nor ending your life is a good solution.
I would recommend trying the following ideas. Please consider them.
Tell your parents how you feel. They might not be aware of how their behavior is negatively affecting you and your siblings. They need to know.
You should also ask your parents to have you evaluated by a mental health professional.
Speak to a school counselor, faculty member, a nurse, or a doctor. Make them aware of what is happening at your home. It might help to gain professional psychological intervention for you and your family.
Is there a relative with whom you can speak? Non-immediate family members might be willing to intervene. Maybe not but it’s something you should try.
You can also report your circumstances to a child abuse and neglect hotline. I am not certain if that service is available in your country but it is in the United States. Parents who neglect their children can be prosecuted. Call the authorities if you find yourself or your siblings in an unsafe or frightening situation.
Keep trying. Even when it’s very tough remember that it is only temporary. Time will pass. You are growing and someday this will all be just a memory of the past and how hard you had it. If I could do more to help you, I promise you that I would.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog