Your brother has homosexual tendencies. Otherwise, he would not have been trying to touch you.
After the first incident, you should not have placed yourself in a position where it could happen again. You put yourself in danger. Even though it was he who was touching you, as the adult in this situation, you could have been accused of child molestation. Please don’t misunderstand what I saying. I’m not accusing you of molesting your brother because clearly that is not the case but someone could have unfairly made that accusation.
Going forward, you must never put yourself in a position where he can touch you. You should not be sleeping in his bed. If it’s necessary to sleep in his room, then sleep far away from him, alone and on the floor. Make it clear that he is not to leave his bed or you will leave the room. Also, talk to him about his masturbation. Tell him that you will not accept any sexual behavior on his part when you are present. You and he should never be sleeping in the same bed and only in a true emergency in the same room.
You should also ensure that no one else sleeps in his bed. Since he has attempted to touch you, it’s reasonable to believe that he may try to do it to others. Young children, especially, are at risk.
If you choose to confront your brother, you may want to do so with the assistance of a family therapist. It’s a very sensitive issue that may require professional help. You may want to contact a therapist and speak with him or her about the situation. After gathering more information about your family, they could advise you about how to address this situation. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog