I’m sorry that you’ve had such difficult experiences. Despite all that you’ve been through, you’ve managed to “stay clean” from self-harm. That’s a major accomplishment. It’s indicative of your strength and resiliency.
Now you’re experiencing troublesome symptoms, including hallucinations and hearing voices. Those symptoms are associated with psychotic disorder, however, they may develop as a result of other conditions such as food or sleep deprivation, post-traumatic stress disorder, drugs and alcohol, and migraines, among others.
You stated that “my family will never know,” which may be your way of saying that you have no intention of telling your family about your symptoms. If so, you should reconsider. Even if you don’t think that they will care, you should tell them. You could be wrong about them. They might surprise you and want to help.
If you have no intention of telling your parents, then you should inform a trusted adult (friend or family) or a school faculty member. Your symptoms are concerning, and need to be addressed. They should not be ignored.
In the meantime, document your symptoms. Having clear documentation will assist a mental health professional in evaluating what may be wrong. Also keep in mind that you have had success in stopping your self-harm. It’s proof that you should not underestimate your strength and resiliency. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog