There are certain people you love and certain people you don’t love. Generally speaking, that’s normal. No one loves everyone, even people you’re “supposed” to love, like your parents and relatives. Not everyone is blessed with great relatives. Nor does everyone deserve your love. For instance, imagine if your parents neglected and severely abused you. Not loving them would be understandable.
You also lie to people. It’s important to determine the motivation for the lies. Some people lie to gain attention or to make themselves look better. People who lie for those reasons are often doing so to protect a delicate ego. They lie to boost their self-image.
Other people lie for the purpose of manipulation. These types of lies have the potential to cause great harm to others. People who lie for the purpose of manipulation might have a personality disorder such as narcissistic or antisocial personality disorder.
While you did not provide a specific example of the type of lies that you tell, my sense is you are driven by ego protection rather than purposeful and deceitful manipulation.
If you would like to write back and provide more details, I may be able to give you a more specific answer. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog