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Falling Apart?

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Hi there, I’m stuck and need help. I feel like my life, marriage and self in general is just coming undone. Am I depressed? Is this just a “phase” a “rough patch” The most pressing issue is my marriage. We’ve been together 5 years and for the majority of that I’ve been angry. or “mean” in my husbands words. I have almost no desire for him sexually so we have little to no sex, I resent him I think but don’t know why because I love him dearly. My marriage is in trouble and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This is not new to me; I had the same struggles with my past
relationship. I almost feel like I’m happier alone; I almost
don’t give an s**t about anyone else’s feelings or needs. I don’t know what to do. I feel on edge and anxious and angry and irritated and guilty but in the end I just don’t know if I care about any of that because in my own way I’m kind of happy. I realized I’ve written this kind of haphazardly, I just don’t know what else to say or where to begin. Am I going crazy like the majority of my family? Am I normal, just cruel? Why do I feel like I don’t care? Why do I feel like I’ve flipped the off switch? Am I heartless? I know I’m tired and I know I’m not satisfied.

Falling Apart?

Answered by on -


The fact that you have an ongoing theme in your relationships is likely to mean that this is an issue that probably stems from your family of origin. One way to try to understand how to unravel this is to engage in either individual or couples therapy. With individual therapy you can explore the history of how you got into this relationship. With couples therapy you may be able to unravel the dynamics that are in your present relationship. Both can offer ways to help correct it.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Falling Apart?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Falling Apart?. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.