You are obviously in a great deal of emotional pain. You’re dealing with a lot and are punishing yourself through self-harm and by attempting to overdose. People who engage in self-harm often do so because they don’t have the necessary coping skills to handle stressful life situations.
Your father’s decision to leave his family was not your fault. He apparently thought it was morally acceptable to abandon his family. His choices are a reflection on him and not a statement of your worth as a human being. You must believe that you are a lovable, worthy person even when your parents make poor choices.
You fell in love with an individual who doesn’t value you. When we do not value ourselves, then we allow others to treat us unkindly. When you come to love and value yourself, you will no longer tolerate being treated unjustly.
Your home life has been unstable and traumatizing. Your mother is unable to support you and even says hurtful things to you. Life is hard for you, as it is for many people, but it will eventually get better. Problems are a part of life. Everyone experiences problems but the key to dealing with them effectively is to arm yourself with good problem-solving skills. These skills can be learned in psychotherapy.
It’s important to seek professional help. In the absence of problem-solving skills, you are resorting to acts of desperation to relieve your emotional pain. Psychotherapy can teach you these essential skills.
If you feel that you may harm yourself, call 911 or go to the emergency room. You should tell your mother about these issues. If you feel that you cannot talk to her, then speak to someone at your school. They can assist you in receiving the proper mental health treatment. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice