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Boyfriend Prefers Pictures to Me

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My boyfriend has hundreds of pictures of naked women on his phone and computer, which I know is kind of normal for men but the issue is he is not very intimate with me. He hardly touches my body, doesn’t not try to get to know my body. He says he loves me and would never cheat on me, that he just likes to look. It breaks my heart though to think of him fantasizing about the women in the pictures while he masturbates or having sex with me because all the pictures are of women with big boobs and big butts, which I have neither. We argue about this a lot. Am I just being over jealous? Or should I be concern?

Boyfriend Prefers Pictures to Me

Answered by on -


Stay concerned. The real issue is the fact that you are not receiving the affection you want. Whatever the reason or distraction with your boyfriend, the bottom line is you want more of a connection with him and the porn isn’t helping.

I would focus on the bottom line and explain what you need from him. Give it a month and reevaluate how it is going. If you don’t see some improvement it may be time for some couples therapy. The find help tab at the top of this page can help you locate someone in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Boyfriend Prefers Pictures to Me

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Boyfriend Prefers Pictures to Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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