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He Doesn’t Love Me Back

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I told my bf of 6 months that I loved him. He said he does not love me yet and does not know if he ever will. He contemplated breaking up with me but then decided we would still give it a try. He said he did not want to lead me on if he never felt that way. I know he recently got out of a terrible and horrible 2 year relationship before me. Our relationship has been very good and people think we seem to be in love and he acts like it too. So I am confused and hurt. What should I do? Is it possible he is just scared and eventually will? Or am I just wasting my time? Help

He Doesn’t Love Me Back

Answered by on -

A.

I would honor his honesty and answering you by letting him know that you appreciate him telling you directly.

I would also then explain that it sounds like he may not be interested in a committed relationship with you. Let him respond to this. The core of what he was struggling with is his degree of connection and commitment to you. Putting that issue on the front burner is likely to help clarify whether it is worth waiting and seeing if he develops deeper feelings for you or if commitment isn’t something he is able and willing to do right now. In either case I believe this discussion has value for your future separately or as a couple.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

He Doesn’t Love Me Back

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). He Doesn’t Love Me Back. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/06/01/he-doesnt-love-me-back/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.