Give up. You are in a classic cycle of abuse. He humiliates you. Then he makes promises and things are good for awhile. Then the abuse starts all over again. It leaves you feeling disoriented and questioning your own perception of reality.
If you can’t do it for yourself, leave for the sake of your children. They are watching you. They are learning that this is what they can expect from a love relationship when they are ready to look for partners. They deserve better. You deserve better.
Please don’t be hard on yourself for not leaving before now. It takes most people an average of 7 – 8 attempts to actually leave a situation like this one. Love is a powerful binder even when it is toxic. It takes a lot of emotional resolve to leave. Fortunately, Georgia has a program that can give you some help. Please call the 24-Hour Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.33.HAVEN or go to this link.
After you read this message, delete it from your computer’s history. Sometimes abusers get violent when they discover that a partner is really trying to get help. Use a computer at a public library or at a friend’s house. If you use your own cell phone to call the hotline, be sure to delete your history.
I wish you well.