I’m 16 and I’m not really sure what to do with myself. The past few months have been really hard; my “depression” has gotten really bad. (I put depression in quotes because I have not been diagnosed by any doctor. I’m assuming that this is what I’m going through after having done research online, and from my mom (who has depression) coming to this conclusion after I told her how I feel.) I have been really stressed with school and the craziness of my schedule lately, but it’s all stuff that I used to be able to deal with. It’s very often been difficult just to get through the day. I want nothing more than to hide from the world, and I cry all the time. I get extraordinarily sad and upset for no apparent reason, for hours or days at a time. I feel like I’m constantly on the edge of breaking down, and little things that shouldn’t bother me are liable to set me over the edge. I just can’t deal with anything it seems. I used to be that girl who was always happy and always smiling, and even when this started, I was able to pretend I was, and became very good at hiding my true feelings. But now, many days I can’t even keep up this pretend face, and it’s all I can do to keep myself from breaking down right there in public. I feel like I’m just being weak or pathetic because I cannot think of any reason for me to have depression, but whatever it is is really wearing me down, and making me very unproductive and unsocial. Most of the small amount of energy I have now is spent keeping myself from curling up in a ball and crying at school, and I have a lot of trouble concentrating and keeping up my grades. I’m very introverted, and have a lot of difficulty explaining and even admitting this to anyone. Almost none of my friends or family know I’m having issues. Even writing this is extremely hard, but I’m at the point where I seriously think I need help. I have self-harmed a few times, and thoughts of death are a norm in my everyday life. I don’t know what to do, or how to get help. Where do I start?
You did the right thing by talking to your mom and writing us here. There are many possibilities that may be causing your symptoms and I think the first thing is to have your mom make an appointment with your physician so you can have a physical. The physician can help sort through whether this is psychological or physical and make comments and recommendations from there.
You will also want to talk to your high school’s guidance counselor to see what he or she thinks. Talking to others who can help is the best way to start feeling better.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Confused with Depression. Psych Central.
Retrieved on September 16, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/05/21/confused-with-depression/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.