I think I have suffered long-term sexual abuse, but am not sure. I was laying down for a nap one day and all of a sudden a memory of miscarrying a baby popped in my head. I remembered everything so clearly, but the idea just came out of nowhere. It was so out of the blue. Later, I was doing homework for a psychology class and I got this image in my head of being tied up in a box at my old baby sitters. I remembered being naked and him forcing himself on me. I’m so afraid that I am crazy. I had heard of repressed memories but my psych teacher said they aren’t real and a lot of things on the internet back up my teachers claims. Where are these thoughts coming from? Am I crazy? The memories feel so real– especially the miscarriage. I wept for several hours over that. If this happened, it would make so much sense. Ever since I can remember I have hated myself and have felt like everything was my fault. I have an eating disorder and cut. At the same time I feel like I have always had the perfect life with supportive parents. I have no reason to feel the way I do except for these memories that came out of blue. I don’t want them to be true, but I think they are except that my teacher and other sources say repressed memories are not real. I want to get help for these intruding thoughts, but I’m also very frightened. How could I think of these things? And if it is real, what should I do? I don’t want to accuse an innocent person of rape but I also don’t want him to be hurting other people!
Thank you for your powerful letter. The struggle you are having is important to learn more about. Whereever these thoughts are coming from, one thing is certain – you want to find the best way of coping with them.
These memories point back to a feeling and memory of trauma – so that is the best place to begin. I would find a therapist near you specializing in trauma and make an appointment. One of the best treatments is known as EMDR and you can read more about it here. The find help tab at the top of the page can also help you find someone in your area. He or she can help you sort through where those images are coming from. More important, they can help you find some proven ways to cope.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). No One Believes Me. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 13, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/05/16/no-one-believes-me/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.