I was diagnosed with depression in December of last year. Its started to get worse after my mission trip from Nicaragua. Ever since I came back, I get aggravated easily, my roommate and my best friend don’t ever invite me to things and never seem to care that I am around.
I feel so alone most of the time, and I feel like no one cares and think maybe I am better off dead. My best friend even told me she wishes I could be the happier me, the less angry one. I don’t know what is wrong and I mean she is a psychology major here, but she obviously doesn’t understand and I know she is tired of me telling her what is wrong. She says she cares, but I find that to be lies as she doesn’t care to even have dinner with me.Alone, Aggravated and Sad
Alone, Aggravated and Sad
I’m so sorry you are feeling so down. It sounds like you are wearing out your friends and feeling generally helpless and alone.
You say that this started to get much worse after your mission trip. I hope the agency or church that sent you prepared you for re-entry into regular American life. Sometimes it’s very hard for people who have been doing work where they have been selflessly helping others for a long time to readjust when they return. You may have depleted yourself more than you realize. It’s not at all unusual for people to get depressed or unmotivated when they come back. People who have not had that kind of experience often don’t understand it or its effects on someone.
The first thing to do would be to contact the sending agency to see if they have any supports for people who have been on mission. If not, I suggest you make an appointment with a mental health counselor. You need help debriefing your experience and restoring yourself. An experienced counselor can help you with that.
I wish you well.