You may be having a normal reaction to difficult life events.
You had both major and minor surgeries, “a lot” of medical conditions and recently lost your grandfather. These are all major life events and all seem to have occurred in close temporal proximity. Virtually anyone would struggle with these issues.
Your medical problems and surgeries could be affecting your mood. Your medical problems may require you to take certain medications, which may also be affecting the way you feel. Virtually all medications have side effects which could produce changes in your thinking and behavior and feelings.
Losing your grandfather may also be affecting your mood. Sadness after the death of a loved one is normal.
Medical problems, surgeries and losing a close family relative will undoubtedly have an effect on your mood and behavior. Therefore, it’s possible that these events are the reason why you are feeling the way you do.
It’s highly unlikely that you will “live the rest of your life in this grey void.” You’re experiencing a difficult time in your life but you will not always feel this way. I would encourage you to share your feelings with your parents. Ask if there’s anything they can do to help. They may offer advice or perhaps suggest counseling. During this difficult time, be open with your feelings and make it your goal to gain as much support as possible. The more support you have, the better you will feel. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog