I started a criminal life early, spending most of my 20’s behind bars. I never learned how to be somebody or even be in a relationship sober or that did not feel like a hostage situation. Years later(present), I came across an acquaintance of mine that came to see me in the hospital when I had a tumor removed, and well we have been spending some time together. We have kissed and I couldn’t believe that he kisses just the way I like. He listens to my type of music, we have the same believes and outlook on many things in general. It seems that he is my soul mate. I want to get closer and be with him a lot but I am insecure about my body because of scares and how gravity has taken over my body. I see myself playing stupid junior high games and I get jealous or made when he does not call or text. How can I grow out of this insecurity?
I deeply admire your courage for speaking about your past and getting focused on the present. I think it takes a good deal of bravery to honor your struggle. In this relationship there are three major influences. The first is the fact that you are feeling so many positive and engaging emotions that they may in and of themselves overwhelm you. Second, this is a new relationship and it doesn’t sound like you have had a sober relationship in your life. This could be quite unsettling and undermine you as you learn the dance of intimacy. Finally, this comes at a time when you are struggling for your personal identity; who you are, and what your contribution is going to be in the world. The confluence of these factors make for a difficult time.
As you mentioned in your profile along with this letter that you are in college I would highly recommend you find a counselor on campus and talk to him or her about your concerns. This will be the fastest and easiest way to get some help.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Criminal Past. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 23, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/05/02/criminal-past/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.