I am sorry to hear about the pain that you have been experiencing. The fact the you are considering suicide as a “way out” is indicative of how much you are suffering.
You are in a gripping depression. Your decision to end your life is being clouded by this depression and your extreme pain. It is important that you seek professional help immediately.
There may be other options that you have not considered with regard to relieving your pain. Hypnosis can provide effective pain reduction. Find the right hypnotist and you could experience a significant reduction in pain.
Other people have reported achieving significant pain relief through the use of medical marijuana. Research the laws in your state. Perhaps your pain physician could provide a referral. If medical marijuana is not permitted in your state, then perhaps you could move to a state where it is legal. In many ways, this is a matter of life and death. Moving to a new state may mean a reduction in pain and thus regaining your life.
If you were to commit suicide, it would mark a negative turning point in the lives of your family. It could be the worst experience of their lives. They may even blame themselves for your suicide. It could affect their lives in other negative ways. Studies have shown that individuals who have had a family member who has committed suicide are more likely to commit suicide themselves.
Many people believe that the only choice for them is suicide. In many cases, they’re experiencing immense psychological pain. In your case you’re experiencing both psychological and physical pain. Persons with suicidal ideation are making assumptions based on desperation and irrational thoughts. The time to make an important decision is not when you’re ill or in mental or physical pain.
Consider exploring the options that I have mentioned above but don’t do this alone. Utilize the support of mental health professionals. They can help and support you at a time when you are most in need of this assistance. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog