Much of what you are feeling is abnormal. It’s especially concerning that you hear voices. You also described feeling “more important than anyone else.” From a clinical perspective, you may be experiencing grandiosity which occurs when an individual has an exaggerated belief about their abilities. Both hearing voices and experiencing grandiosity are signs of a possible psychotic disorder.
Your beliefs that you “should be able to kill” and that you would “kill people who deserve to die an go to hell” is also concerning. It’s also abnormal to obsess and to be sexually attracted to Jeffrey Dahmer. Jeffrey Dahmer was a cannibal who murdered people. He destroyed the lives of many families. There’s nothing romantic or intriguing about him. In the view of the majority, he is an immoral individual who deserved to be incarcerated for the rest of his life.
Yes, it would be in your best interest to seek help. You stated that you’re “scared of yourself” which means that you may be losing your ability to control your behavior. See a mental health professional immediately. If you feel you cannot control your behavior and that you are at risk of harming someone, it is imperative that you go to the hospital or call 911. Don’t ignore this problem. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice