You characterized her as being obsessed but you did not discuss what led you to that belief. Generally speaking, being obsessed is problematic. Obsession involves a preoccupation with something or someone. Obsessions often interfere with an individual’s everyday functioning. I’m interested in the way in which this “obsession” affects her life. It does seem to be interfering with your relationship.
With regard to what may have caused her obsession, it’s difficult to make that determination. She had a troubled childhood but many individuals experience a troubled childhood without developing an obsession.
Perhaps the band’s image and music provided her emotional relief. Perhaps during the rough periods in her life she would escape her pain by listening to the band. If the band helped her emotionally through painful periods she may now see them as “friends,” friends who helped her when she needed help. She may now feel loyalty and a sense of having bonded to these friends. A bond that she is unwilling to give up. In the absence of knowledge of how this is harming her, it may not be a problem at all.
If it is damaging her in some way then you may want to encourage her to see a therapist. A therapist could assist her in having a more balanced approach to her interests. Psychotherapy may help her immensely and it may also enhance the quality of your relationship. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog