There is probably no disorder associated with her behavior. She’s taking advantage of you and your generosity. People take advantage of others whom they perceive as being easy targets. She asks you for money and you always say yes. In her view, there is no reason to stop asking you for money because you keep giving it to her. She takes advantage of you because you allow it to happen.
For some people, saying no to others is difficult. People who have difficulty saying no are sometimes referred to as “people pleasers.” Saying no often causes a confrontation or hurt feelings. Saying yes is much easier. People are much happier when you comply with their requests.
When you say yes to everything that is asked of you, you are effectively training others to keep asking. If you were to say no, after having had continuously said yes for so long, they’d be surprised and perhaps even be indignant.
When someone will not change their behavior, then you must change yours. In this case, it requires saying no to some of her requests. Undoubtedly, that may be difficult for you. She may become upset if you were to say no to her. She’s used to you saying yes and it will likely surprise her when you say no. Expect her to be unhappy when you say no.
Going forward, it will be important to develop relationships that are equal, fair and balanced. If you continue to struggle with these issues, you may want to consult a psychotherapist to assist you in changing the way you interact with others. Understanding relationship dynamics may help you to have healthier and more satisfying relationships in the future. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog