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Jealousy, Insecurity Cause Breakup

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My boyfriend broke up with me because I pushed him too much about “bad feelings” towards his 30-year-old good female friend. He made friends with her and if it wasn’t for her according to him we wouldn’t have gotten back together. How come I feel or felt that way? He is so good to me does everything right! I just didn’t think it was normal for a 30 year old with her son to be so extremely close e reassured me there is nothing and he wouldn’t hurt me that way and yesterday I couldn’t bare the feeling of going to her house. The fact she asked him about dating others made me real uneasy. He broke up with me because he can’t take it anymore.

Jealousy, Insecurity Cause Breakup

Answered by on -


Your jealousy sounds both understandable and problematic. I think two things make sense. If he is still broken up with you, give yourself the opportunity to talk your jealousy over with a therapist. It is hard to tell from your description where or if the line was crossed on your side (the jealousy)—or his side (with the relationship). If the two of you have gotten back together, see a couples counselor. These issues often reemerge if their causes are not understood.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Jealousy, Insecurity Cause Breakup

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Jealousy, Insecurity Cause Breakup. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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